what is love

For years I've thought about this and I have the art to prove it. Words, everywhere.

I have affirmed that I love you, and saying I love you, or love, are only words. And, honestly, I don't really know what those words mean.

As a child I was trained, unknowing of my dysfunctional conditions until now, saying I love you, I was accepting dysfunction, instability, neediness, insecurity, limiting beliefs, behaviors, immaturity, and abandonment as my source of connecting. And very sensitive to the energies of my parents - a behavior of questioning everyone, intuitively feeling my way through relationships today. It's not healthy and I don't think my gifts were intended to be used this way.

What happened?

As a child, I was trained to love everything less than myself. Less than what I deserved, and accept the bad behaviors, and toxic nature of others learned behaviors. And I don't blame anyone because those who raised me taught me what they had learned. Most of them still asleep, settling for codependency, drama, and addictive behaviors.

I have more thoughts, but I'll leave it here for now.